I was already a member of my church when my wife, then a single mother, was called to be their minister. Years later, when we began dating, she warned me that, especially if our relationship led to marriage, I could not be a member of this church in the same way and that my role would change significantly. I tried to remember that, but I selfishly clung to this church as my spiritual home. I did not make the transition well. The next closest UU congregation is 45 miles away, so that was not a practical option. I did not reach out to the UUMPS (UU Minister’s Partners & Spouses) group early on and I didn’t really know what the Church of the Larger Fellowship (CLF) was at that time. I was a member of the church’s Board, but appropriately resigned after we started dating. However, I still remained in leadership positions, like chairing committees that were foundering. But I have a full-time job and being a support for my wife is another full-time job, not to mention just being a husband and father, so my leadership was really ineffective. Continue reading The beginning of the end, part 2…
You doom yourselves…
“You doom yourselves, Susannah. You seem positively bent on it, and the root is always the same; your faith fails you, and you replace it with rational thought. But there is no love in thought, nothing that lasts in deduction, only death in rationalism.”
~Mia
I am currently reading Song of Susannah, the sixth book in Stephen King’s Dark Tower series, which is where I found the above quote. The same day I read this quote, my wife suggested that my first post, You can believe anything you want…, sort of missed the mark, so I’m having another go at it.
In that post I said that folks misrepresent Unitarian Universalism by saying that it is the church where you can believe anything you want, but then I didn’t exactly refute the point. The point I tried to make instead was that our diversity of perspective comes together to point toward a more integrated truth. Admittedly, this does not paint a clear picture of what we, as a whole, do believe. And I think my failure to do this may represent what is often lacking in our Unitarian Universalist congregations…a consistent message about our shared values. Continue reading You doom yourselves…
The beginning of the end…
I’ve recently become acutely aware of the dangers of unhealthy communication. By unhealthy communication, I mean the avoidance of healthy interactions…instead of going directly to the source of the perceived conflict, people will instead complain to others who are not involved. I sort of understand this…it is innate characteristic we’ve had from the time when humans lived in tribes and life was very much an us against them reality. You stick with the people you know and trust and don’t risk pissing someone off by confronting the other person. This is very damaging to community. It destroys trust and divides people.
Many times it is simply a misunderstanding that could have been cleared up if only the offended party would have spoken directly with the object of their discontent. Sometimes the issue is more serious, but it is still important to speak your truth to the individual instead of letting the offence fester. Continue reading The beginning of the end…
You can believe anything you want…
Often I hear from folks who are not UUs (and sometimes from folks who are), when talking about Unitarian Universalism, that it’s the church where you can believe anything you want. While that may be technically true…people will believe anything they want, regardless of their professed religion…it is not exactly how I (or any long-time UU) would describe it.
In Unitarian Universalism, we promote the acceptance of one another and the free and responsible search for truth and meaning. We believe that people want answers, but we reject the notion that organized religious institutions can give them those answers. The responsibility lies with the individual to seek out and find the truth. We believe that community is vital in encouraging the individual in this search and in living out their faith in service to the larger world. Continue reading You can believe anything you want…